(Author’s Note: Last edited: April 25th, 2007. A Wednesday. Which means I have procrastinated on this page for a good three months or more.)

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Ever since this new blog became a lot more public, its readership grew as the months passed by. At the same time, it has triggered a bigger fan base, with some members whom have offered great insights on the phenomenon of Bodo(h)land, though mostly subconsciously.

I shall preserve a healthy blood pressure and not stroll down my alco memory lane.

What interests me the most is the feedback I’ve received regarding this blog and various other issues that revolve around writing and this persona, Bodicea.

The questions were few but many. In the sense that they required much elaboration on the answers in order to fully understand the explanations given. In the past, some answers have taken up one whole post or three.

Questions are still incoming. Many revolved around similar themes and topics. Some are repetitive.

And I am lazy.

So this shall be my easy way out. Lalala.

 

~

 

Honestly Dead 101

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The Tour Guide

0. Home

Back to front page.

1. And who the hell is this?

Me.

2. Ask the Dead

You are here.

3. (Some) Classics You Should Read Before You Die (again)

Some stuff you can read over and over again and still think they’re awesome.

4. Morbid Banner?

Where I explain about the site’s (former) layout. To be extinct when I get my own domain.

5. Random Announcement-cum-Tag Board like

Where I supposedly announce my hiatus before my disappearance. Mainly inane stuff by readers and me that don’t fit into any of my posts. Updated when the title changes. Old comments and announcements are deleted every month.

6. What is Bodo(h)land?

An introduction to the mind-blowing world of earthly aliens. Trespassers may be infected with insomnia from severe addiction. You have been warned.

7. Why? (The introduction)

Introduction to the concept of this blog.

8. Quote of the Moment

Random quotes that represent part of my beliefs of the moment. Updated when the moon looks like cheese.

9. Search

For lazy easier navigation. Just type in keywords of my blog’s content you’re looking for.

10. Days of Our Non-lives

For lazy advanced readers.

11. 5 Latest Mental Diarrhea

Latest posts.

12. 10 Most Rotten Posts

The 10 most clicked-on posts of the moment. Changes everyday. I think.

13. 5 Latest Awesome Readers’ Intervention (May sometimes be balless detractors in disguise)

Reader’s and hater’s comments. Some pingbacks may have busibodied along the way.

14. 20 Funky Bookmarks

Post categories (and the amount of relevant posts in brackets):

a) “Friend”ster
Mainly stuff concerning the online community site, “Friend”ster. I might expand its category to fit all online community sites, including MySpace.

b) Abstract

Link: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=abstract

c) Blog Stuff

Just about blogging tools like quizzes, memes, and other self-indulgent blog-related things.

d) Bodohland

All about Bodo(h)land. Refer #6.

e) Books, Movies, Music, Television

The word ‘music’ there is misleading because I don’t recall the last time I talked about music here. Except maybe for Damien Rice’s songs. I think.

Anyway, here goes whatever media-related reviews I’d given two pennies about. If I could be arsed to write about it, it usually is good shit and I’m usually not wrong.

f) Cocktails and dining

Where I talk about my 3rd deadly sin.
g) Evil

There is nothing satanic in here. Purely human. But it’s the mean kinda shit that should never happen in the first place. Stuff I wouldn’t do myself.

h) Language

Where I give a rat’s ass about the technicalities of the human communication medium.

i) Human rights

Questions of a person’s rights to anything.

j) Human Stupidity

The difference here with Bodo(h)land is that I see this as human nature. Can be excused.

k) Life Anecdotes

Detailed real life experiences. May mix with fiction.

l) Mental Notes

Just pure thoughts from my head. Sometimes with some academic backings.

m) MySpace

Like “Friend”ster, here contains mainly stuff concerning the online community site, MySpace. I might expand its catergory to fit all online community sites, including “Friend”ster.

n) Philosophy & Religion

Philosophy is the root of all sciences. Here is where I discuss about anything that questions beliefs and life.

o) Prose

My fiction and translations.

p) Relationships

Bear in mind that there are two main kinds of relationships here, in this content: Platonic and romantic.

q) School

Anything related to my formal education.

r) Socio-Political

Politics-related. I didn’t name the catergory as “Politics” per se because I think society and politics are interrelated anyway.

s) Sociology

Raw study of the society I know today.

t) Verse

Poetry and whatnot. Often, it’s mental notes in a more poetic form. Mostly blank and free style.

15. Alco(hol) Memory Lane

Monthly archives which I’ve started compiling since I left my old sanctuary.

16. For the Living

Where I pimp the ones that are badly needed for the living.

17. Humour that Can Wake the Dead

Witty good shit drawings.

18. Old Sanctuary

My previous official blog.

19. Other Fellow Corpses

Click.

20. Unusually Smelly Corpses

Click.

21. Pleasure for the Soul

SoNiFiC iz dA bOmB!!!!!11 i <3 aLcOhoLic sOnGz!!!!!111 i SwEaR 2 dRuNk im NoT gOd LOL <333

22. Spam that Worshipped the Dead

They obviously didn’t know who what they were messing with.

And guys, please don’t “re-comment” if you don’t see your comments showing up. Akismet may have been drunk and is holding your comments as hostage. I’ll save them from the spam box once I get pass those crazy thousands of links.

 

~

 

On the Fundamentals

23. Why honestly dead? You’re not dead.

Really now.

24. Hmm…that’s pretty deep there. Are you like some Matrix fan or something?

Yes.

25. Why?

Because a large part of me don’t think anything’s real. You’re not real. The spoon is not real.

26. So, what, your religion is like Scientology or some New Age crap?

No, I belong to the Church of Apathetic Agnosticism. They sometimes pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. rAmen.

27. Is that God?

I would like to please you, but no.

28. What? So you don’t believe in God? C’mon, I’m sure you do believe in a god?

I believe in God as much as Socrates would.

29. What about higher beings?

Ah, I do believe in a higher being, just not your God.

30. But my God is real! Why don’t you believe in Him?

Because you’re not real.

~

On Rights and the Techinicalities of Writing

31. This is so cool. I can comment. Can I say/do/take anything from/in this blog?

Yes, but~

32. What the — Do I need to memorize that?

I’d buy you the most awesome chocolate mousse cake if you could.

*thought about Viets strikes*

Okay, on second thought, maybe I’ll just write you a special tribute instead.

33. How do you write so well?

With my grey matter, my IQ, my EQ, some finger tips, a working keyboard, sometimes Notepad (idea from Stev), Bodolanders, occasionally my third hand Nokia 6610, and rarely murdered tree barks.

34. Uh, hehe, I mean, how come you write the way you do? It’s so nice! I mean, I can totally relate to most of what you’re talking about.

Because I can.

Okay, fine, click here.

35. Your English is so good. How come? / Why are you so anal about English? Do you read a lot?

Click here and I read a lot less than I write.

36. So are you like some writer or something?

I write some stuff some people find awesome. So yeah, I am some writer. I have an offline publication and a number of mostly original prose in this site.

37. I know this might sound redundant, but…any writing tips to share?

Well, apart from the ones I gave you (Ref. #34 and #36), I’d advise to listen to your heart, mind your heart.

38. You publish your stuff online. Aren’t you afraid that people will steal your work?

I don’t mind people emulating my awesomeness as long as they notify me about their foot-long tribute to me in their disclaimer. Otherwise, they’ll know what’s it like to be pwned so hard that they need to change their IP addresses.

~

On Twats

39. Judging from your Bodo(h)land, you seem to like insulting people. Do you mock/insult people as a hobby? Why?

First of all, it’s not “my” Bodo(h)land. Even if it was, I’d have fucking disowned it a long time ago. I only write all that shit when I’m bored enough. Because.

40. Uh, okay. Are you always this sarcastic/straightforward/blunt/brutally honest?

No.

41. But from the way you’ve been writing in your blog…

Click.

42. Alright. So when did you start this…thing?

Since the enlightening world of Myspace.

43. Don’t you think it’s mean?

It’s not mean if it’s true. - Anonymous

44. You know, I find it pretty fantastic that you’re probably the only person I know who has attracted this much stupidity within such a short lifetime, considering that the start of the MySpace saga was just 2 years ago. Where do you find all these people?

I don’t. They come to me.

45. Any idea why?

If I knew why, you wouldn’t be reading about them in the first place. Maybe opposites do attract…in a weird way. I suppose my blog is like a semi-research database for the real sociology.

46. Hah. And what made you lay that claim? What credibility do you have for Sociology?

I took Sociology I during my first year in my Baccalaureate degree program. Any suggestions as to how I can go any higher than an A+ ?

~

On the Abstract and Emo

47. Why do you write in abstract so much?

Click.

48. Why are you so emo?

Click here and here.

49. Your stories have always been so sad. Why?

Because I am honest.

50. God. Does your life suck that bad?

Click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. The links here are what my alco memory can remember so far.

51. Life is not all about love, you know. And I think you’re not the only who suffers from all this?

Different people, different culture, different places, different time, different needs, different experiences.

Experience is more exclusive than you think it is.

52. You seem really intellectual. You have said and written many things I’ve never thought of before. I mean, you often seem to have a fresh perspective on life. Are you like some genius or child prodigy or something? You seem to know a lot before you were even 20. Like you should be 30 or 40 or something.

I don’t know.

Click here, here, here, and here.

 

~

 

On Romance

53. Do you have a boyfriend?

Today? No.

54. What do you mean ‘today, no’?

You’re asking a question in the present tense.

55. Are you always this anal?

No. I’m just in the mood to mind fuck you :o)

56. …Okay, so…judging from your blog, you seem to have lots of shitty moments in relationships. Why?

Click here, here, and here.

57. Have you ever thought that there might be something wrong with you?

Long before you asked me this question.

58. What kind of lover are you looking for?

Read my expose and the end of my cocktail recipe, thanks. And this and this too.

You do the math.

59. Can I date you?

Why yes. If you do not tell fart jokes as a hobby, you may send in your oh-so-enticing resume after you leave your MSN contact or, preferably, your blog address as a comment below.

You may have an advantage if you can find me in MySpace. And understand the meaning of the word “scintillating” too while you’re at it.

60. But what if you blog about me? I’ve read/heard what you’ve done to those poor Viets! And, uh, actually, what’s a Viet?

But what if your head was so big that you couldn’t find space to type me a message anyway?

If you’re smart enough, you’d find the meaning of the noun ‘Viet’ quickly enough.

~

On Fans and Friendship

61. You are famous, right?

What in your name made you say so?

62. I mean, people link you! They talk about you! They’ve heard of your blog!

Ah. Yes, without me, it’s just ‘Aweso’.

63. Right. You must be really busy then. Do people write to you all the time?

Not really, but yeah.

64. What do you mean by that?

Well, I’m usually not busy because people write to me. Most just either comment in the respective posts or tell me stuff when they see me in MSN. I get the occasional fan mails emails. Most of them start out nice and some end up freaky. I like the respectful ones.

65. You’re pretty/sexy/hot/gorgeous!

Where did you get that idea from?

66. I’ve seen your photos online!

They mislead.

67. Yeah, right. I’ve seen you in real life too. Do you wear makeup?

Only the eyebrow pencil and occasional eyeliner and mascara.

68. What, so you don’t wear other makeup?

Some pressed powder for my phobia of oily skin?

69. But your face don’t look powdery! You don’t wear foundation?

Why should I?

70. :O And lipstick?

I think lead don’t go very well with my food and drinks.

71. So how come your lips are so pink and your skin is so smooth and fair if you don’t wear makeup?

I went for an Extreme Makeover.

72. Are you serious?

I could be. An old acquaintance once asked me if I had plastic surgery or not.

73. …Okay. Anyway, can I have your MSN/Y!/AIM/Friendster/Facebook/ICQ/phone number/house address?

Why, yes, I could consider after you drop yours below.

74. But I’m scared that you’ll find me as retarded as your Bodolanders or I’ll piss you off or something and then you’ll blog about our conversations.

Don’t worry, I’m a very nice and reasonable person. I give warnings.

~

On Hate Mails

75. You suck/You’re a bitch

And you’re a sheep’s cunt. Or gnat’s piss. I grant you the freedom of choice.

76. I’ve seen you before and you’re as flat and white as a piece of paper.

Not as flat as your insult is.

77. Your writings suck.

I’m sorry. I didn’t know my writings could affect you so badly.

78. So you think you’re smart, huh?

Actually, my IQ has just been lowered.

79. I just hate you. You make me feel sick.

I suggest you go see a doctor. Or a shrink. If it’s too pricey for you, you can always see a school counselor. Or create a hate site to release stress. Hatred only runs at your mental expense. Free yourself from enmity. Amitabha.

P.S. Don’t forget to link me

80. I just want to fuck with you / I just want to mess you up

When you barely know me? Well, as a token of appreciation, I suppose I could try to feel flattered.

~

Miscellaneous

81. Why is it that one moment your blog sounds happy and then the next moment it’s depressing? It’s like skipping on a merry land only to fall into a pot hole and then it’s lala land again.

I’m perfectly human.

82. Hm. Well, I’ve met you offline. I wouldn’t have thought that you’re psychotic or that deep if I didn’t read your blog. Do you have some kind of split personality or something? Multiple Personality Disorder, maybe?

Again, I’m perfectly human. And I write because I’m urged to.

83. Your posts are often very personal. How come you don’t seem to mind publicizing them?

What is there to hide? The only ones I’ve taken down from the public view are the ones which information I don’t trust most people with.

84. In MSN, why are you always “Out to Lunch”?

Click.

85. Is your name really Bodicea?

It could be.

86. What do you mean ‘it could be’?

I named myself that. Some people call me ‘Jolin’. Some call me ‘Bodi’. Some call me ‘Bo’. Take your pick.

87. Uh, okay, so, why Bodicea then?

Because she’s one of the strongest realistic modern fictional female characters I’ve ever come across. Google ‘The Millennium Girl’. I identify with her dreams and fears; her life on the whole. She’s an inspiration to me.

88. You said that you like to be honest. But have you ever lied in your blog before? Over-dramatization or over-exaggeration maybe?

Naw. I don’t work for advertising and I don’t like PR work.

89. So you’re always telling the truth?

Maybe. I like to be honest.

90. Let me get this straight. In your mini autobiography, you mentioned that your ancestry is like from all over Asia and it ends with the Petronas Twin Towers. I’m confused.

Do you know how old the Petronas Twin Towers is?

91. Uh, 10/20/30/40/50 years old? / I don’t know?

O: )

92. …Okay…I might get back to you on that. But, that can’t be the real story…right?

If you insist, I’m actually an Iraqi of Russian ancestry, born out of Mongolian wedlock. I have lived my childhood with the last Moroccan Innuit and have been living my past 5 years in Malaysia as a migrant worker who built that floor fountain in front of Suria KLCC which is right next to the Petronas Twin Towers.

93. Wtf. We’re back to the Petronas Twin Towers.

Yeah, I know.

94. …Fine. So are you the same person you are in this blog, in real life?

No, I have a ghost writer. O: )

95. Uh, I mean, do you talk the way you write online?

Do you?

96. Uh, no, not really, I guess?

Righto.

97. Then, why do you write the way you do?

Read #34 again, thanks.

98. Okay, fine. How are you like when you’re offline then?

Why don’t you find out yourself? O: )

99. You’re speaking in cryptic again.

I know.

100. But this is supposed to be a FAQ!

Yeah, but I didn’t say it’s a Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.