The Cancerian mood is kicking in again. Fun times.

-:~:-

Statistics after being in Malaisie (again) for 11 days:

Being assumed to be a Japanese tourist: 7
Being assumed to be of Korean breed: ∞
Being assumed to be a cancer stick smoker: 3
Being hit on by random fucks: 7
Being hit on by people I didn’t really expect to hit on me: 3
Being asked why-did-you-cut-your-hair-long-hair-better-ma: 15
Being compared to thekinkyblue because of the hair: 1
Being half correctly called having a pixie hair cut: 1
Buying jewelery I didn’t needed: 6
Going to buy more stuff I don’t need: >1
Being treated like someone special from a faraway land: 23
Being accused of having an American accent: 4
Being accused of being a Western tourist who tries to be Malaysian by saying “lah” but takjadi: 2
Retaliating to one of the above accusers by saying that at least my hair colour doesn’t match my yellow t-shirt: 1
Plans made: >25
People met from plans: >15
People met outside of plans: >12
Being accused of being over-booked: 8
Being noticed for being an official hippie convert: 14
Char Kuay Teow-ed: 2
Nasi lemak-ed: 2
Wantan mee-ed: 1
Sarawak noodle-d: 1
Kai fan-ed: 1
Hailam mee-ed: 0.5
Nasi goreng-ed: 2
Ramli burger-ed: 1
Teh tarik-ed: 1
Milo ais-ed: 2
Barley-ed: 3
Bandung ais-ed: 3

Ayam lazy to continue for now. Sleepy.

-:~:-

The US (in general, after an observation of 9 months)
Pros:
1. People with better social etiquette
2. People with a more…respectful common sense
3. People with a more accepting frame of mind
4. People who sees a life outside of moolah and business calls
5. People who do their research before doing anything retarded or life-endangering
6. Godiva. And Reese’s.
7. AWESOME TGIF
8. Awesome affordable ethnic restaurants like Mediterranean, Thai, Japanese, Korean (!!), Tibetan (!!!), French, Italian, Irish…etc
9. Tibetan Cultural Center
10. Dalai Lama’s 87-years-old Dalai Lama brother who was once a professor in Indiana University Bloomington
11. Dollar Tree Store
12. Fashion of minimum lala-ness (including school wear) you would want to wear at least 5348 times before you donate them to the Salvation Army.
13. Factory outlet stores. Think Banana Republic at $10. And I wear Guess track pants. To sleep.
14. Breathable air. Bluer skies. Fluffier clouds. Greener trees.
15. Being able to distinguish the difference between government sponsored medical advice and research motivated medical advice on hemp plants, among other…methods of enlightenment. O: )
16. The opportunity to understand The Beatles, first hand.
17. Gym culture
18. Recycling culture
19. Smoking ban
20. Obamamamama
21. Marijuana legalization campaigns
22. More courteous drivers
22. Highway minimum speed limit
23. (More) Punctual, efficient public transportation
24. The currency exchange rate
25. Legality of 21
26. Spring time! Fall! Winter for holidays (only!)
27. People who are actually genuinely interested in your foreign culture if only because they’ve never been outside their gigantic state before
28. Chillout culture (Reminder: I’m mostly referring to Bloomington, Seattle, and Florida)
29. Very diverse culture. Culture shock can be paramount here, as long as you go out of your way, or not.
30. Very friendly, passionate, and casual relationships. Extremely practical/realistic and helpful
31. The non-existence of air kissers
32. The return/exchange policy
33. Amaz(ing)on.com
34. Incentives for the Creative Arts amongst other innovative fields in this land of real opportunities
35. The meritocracy system
36. The police force
37. Nationwide psychological understanding and support
38. Outspokenness and more straightforwardness; less hypocrisy and retarded censorship
39. Minority rights
40. MTV
41. More hairstylists who actually give you what you want because you asked for it. If they are not sure if something (like hair color or hairstyle) would work for you, they would refuse to jeopardize their pride and dignity for the sake of more moolah, if only because they believe in masterpieces and not half-ass jobs.

Unlike some hairstylists elsewhere, over the rainbow, who would assume that they know what you like and go ahead and decide for you, giving you an end result that would make Vidal Sassoon cry (like how blonde on most Asian skin would), if only because these people are lazy to go to class or go online to get more enlightened.

It helps that most international contemporary hairstyling techniques are in English.
-

Cons:
1. Boring, disgusting, obesity/bulimia-inducing SubwayMcDBurgerKingWendy’sDenny’sChick-A-Litetcetc
pastapastafuckingpastaagainT_T
2. Party. That’s what most people my age there seem to master in. Only.
3. People whose idea of a good party is Bud Light. And hip hop.
4. Some selfish arrogant bastards
5. American Chinese food, like General-wtf-Tsao chicken
6. Bush
7. Smoking ban
8. Highway maximum speed limit
9. Legality of 21
10. Four seasons. In one day.
11. Retarded, indecisive rain of no warning.
12. Very friendly and passionate but (very) casual relationships; temporal basis relationships; can be seen as very superficial/insignificant and selfish
13. The currency exchange rate
14. MTV
15. The beach. Hollywood lies.
16. Expensive a-minute-a-US-dollar massages

-:~:-

Malaisie (in general, after an observation of 20 mostly conscious years)

Pros:
1. Local and most Asian food
2. Ramli burger
3. Chillax culture of “lah”
4. Diverse worldly ideas and philosophies; more opportunities to be more critical and analytical, especially with the fucked up political reality and contradictory governmental system
5. Largely collectivist culture when it comes to relationships; feels more significant and meaningful
6. Consistent weather (and) temperature
7. The humour in (using) the national language
8. The retardation the humour of Berita Harian, RTM1, RTM2, TV3, NTV7
9. The entertaining interesting exciting lives and times of the bold and beautiful local politicians
10. The amount of local slangs you can use to cuss express how you feel
11. Some clubs/bars/lounges
12. Legality of 18
13. MAMAK culture
14. The beach
15. Cheap massages
-

Cons:
1. Most Western food
2. BN
3. ISA
4. Sedition Act
5. Syariah Court
6. Mat Rempits
7. Air-kissing Melayu Rempits and motor shop Bengs
8. The might of the Lala culture
9. Party = Hiphop/R&B
10. Company policy; license for stupidity
11. Non-breathable, sticky, heated air
12. How you need a car to go anywhere so you won’t drown in your own sweat
13. The incentives for the Creative Arts or anyone out of the norm
14. School t-shirt designs and tailoring
15. Highway maximum speed limit
16. Public transportation that is as punctual and efficient as the 9:30am-4:30pm government workers
17. Crime rate and the police force
18. Bribery
19. What meritocracy system?
20. People who are interested in your foreign culture if only because you’re some rich/good-looking novelty from foreign land
21. Nationwide psychological understanding and support
22. High sheep mentality-cum-extreme-hypocrisy/retardation/insecurity of whatever. I’m sien to repeat myself already
23. Majority rights
24. Hairstylists who compensate for their lack of skills with long unnecessary head massages while giving you a hairwash, using Jesus knows what kind of shampoo, and charging you the same price you’re charged for getting a similar treatment by a professional who is schooled and government certified in the US.

You also realize that half the time you get your haircut, you actually had to grow to like it.

(Author’s note: To be edited as the memory jogs erratically.)

-:~:-

I’m planning a massage some time tomorrow or Monday (what’s the occasion again?). It’s been a long overdue break.