:: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m not trying to make stuff up
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i swear to god
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
wtf i can’t believe i just said that line
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
wtf man. i wouldn’t have believed myself before this
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like, i was brought up a freethinker
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and just because i wanted the ultimate truth
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it has to be God the bastard
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
E, a previously strong christian fundamentalist at heart, after all that drama with him, told me that i’ll prolly go to heaven if there’s such a place
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the only difference between me and the rest of the world is just that i care enough to want to help EVERYONE
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like even rapist. i can forgive them if they have really reformed
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and even put in true effort to show how much they have changed
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i am still an evil bitch on the inside
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i can be
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
at least
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but my heart forever remembers what is good
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz ive been through some of the shittiest romantic experiences, emotionally speaking
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and you know that, first hand
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you’ve seen me at my worst
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and my best
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i don’t actually have any disorder
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i only display signs of it
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the best medical prescription i can have is just “schizophrenia” (even scientists today still don’t know the root cause for it)
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
someone in the last week asked me within 5 minutes of conversation:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
“are you schizophrenic?”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i didn’t even say anything i thought would be obvious
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
didn’t even mention any hospital
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
actually
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it was a lot less than 5 minutes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
more like 1 minutes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
1 minute*
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and for a while
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i really thought i was schizophrenic
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
until my therapist who has a ph.D and is prolly 50-60 years old
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and a male too
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
said that i’m perfectly normal
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
what irony, life gives.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so yeah. i can proudly say that i have been there, done that, emotionally speaking
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m not even afraid of death
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
tho
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sometimes i may be
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz life, like u said
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
is really worth living
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no matter what happens
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’ll accept it
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sure, some fuckers prolly would attempt to murder me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
if i play my cards wrong
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but before that inevitable attempt occurs in my face
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they have to get past their worst fears and shame first
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and like another friend mentioned to me:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
“why would someone want to kill you anyway?”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s idealistic to think that it won’t happen
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like murphy’s law
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
shit can happen
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no matter what
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
what goes up must come down
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i won’t say i have no more nightmares
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but i am a lot more accepting of my reality now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the only difference between my experience and the rest of the world’s is this:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i have been through my worst nightmare.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
which was the possibility of losing P, due to my own mistake
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the fact that i can tell you all of this with pure inner confidence says for a lot
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
what do you think?
Leon says:
I think… that time will tell, as always.
Leon says:
It’s really hard for me to say anything.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
take ur time
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:

Leon says:
Things seem to be going fine for you, so we’ll just leave it at that and just let life go on .
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m sorry if i have hurt you greatly with my words
:: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but, hence the concept of “necessary evil”
Leon says:
I’m not hurt, really. It’s just food for thought right now.

-

:: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(ive no idea why im getting so much dramatic blog material nowadays. lol)
Leon says:
Your life has always been a drama dear girl
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
true.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
meh
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i really wish to have it simpler, sometimes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but then again
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
what is life without conflict?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the good kind, especially
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
whatever that means
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
just need to be careful
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s all
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
methinks
Leon says:
Truer words have rarely been spoken
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
hahaha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
wtf
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ya man
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yam seng (D)
Leon says:
Haha
:: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
oh crap
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
if astrology is real, i’m afraid for this coming month
Leon says:
?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
Aries is the sign of Passion
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
Pisces (last month) is the sign of Intuition
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
go figure.
Leon says:
Lots of sex all over the place perhaps? Oh wait might be something else.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
hahaha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
possible
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m quite hopeful actually, but shhhh.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
rofl
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i don’t know about you, but judging especially by the pattern of recent events, for me, it means that i’m likely to be more passionate about what i want to do with my life.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
more than usual, if that is even possible
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and FEIST IS COMING TO TOWN ON APRIL !!
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
see what i mean now?
Leon says:
Mm.
Leon says:
Done it with P before?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not telling O:-)
Leon says:
Haha