Disclaimer (or Warning, for some :P): You’ll lose out if you skim through this mini-autobiography. Trust me.

-

:: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
how are you
Queen Suet says:
hello
Queen Suet says:
im fine, you?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
a little troubled
Queen Suet says:
what’s up?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i don’t know how to do buddha’s job at such a young age
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
:S
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i wish i can talk to him
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i mean
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m still human
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he was still human
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like he said
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he said he’s not a god
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like how ppl like to think of him
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
just
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
“enlightened”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
whatever that means, u get me?
Queen Suet says:
ya i know he’s not god
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sigh
Queen Suet says:
but why do u have to do his job?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because..
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
as crazy as u may think i sound abt this
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i already know i am enlightened in my heart
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my mind can’t comprehend it still
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
slowly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but surely
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s understanding it
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but well
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s hard for me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
of my young age
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
buddha got enlightened when he was 36 years old
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s 15 yrs older than me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
when i first found my own enlightenment
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
im still a kid at heart
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not as jaded as he was
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sure, we found our enlightenment through diff methods
Queen Suet says:
so u think by finding enlightenment u have to do wht buddha did too?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
in a way
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
we both wanted world peace
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s a big idea
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but we have to start frm within
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s why i said i’m enlightened.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
meaning
Queen Suet says:
hmm ya i get what u mean
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i have world peace in my heart already
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my head is still very disorganized
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
unlike my heart
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s why i still need to talk to ppl abt this
Queen Suet says:
it’s ok, don’t trouble yourself with such big responsibilities lah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not that i want to impose anything on anyone u know
Queen Suet says:
get your head cleared first
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
thanks for listening
Queen Suet says:
don’t worry
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
for a moment, i considered maybe it’s all just a dream and im really crazy after all
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
meh
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i hate my mind for this sometimes
Queen Suet says:
a lot of people will think you are crazy
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz i can easily confuse it for paranoia
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
exactly.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
only my real friends/close friends know im not
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i wonder how buddha dealt with confronting his family abt this
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i mean
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
stories said that it’s all awesome for him after dealing with the first 4 ppl he met
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not really
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but he seemed to had it easy
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and i haven’t heard abt the previous buddhas before him yet
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i mean
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
nothing much was told abt the previous reincarnations
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
reality is
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
media distorts everything, even though it might mean well
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
u really cannot trust technology completely, you know?
Queen Suet says:
u know i’m starting to think you’re not crazy after all
Queen Suet says:
we wouldn’t call buddha crazy right..
Queen Suet says:
just cause he found enlightenment
Queen Suet says:
why can;t anyone do that too?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
exactly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
well
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i can thnk of many reasons
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
if u want me to share
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i am willing
Queen Suet says:
share what?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
why i think ppl won’t believe me so easily right now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
as in
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
certain ppl
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not everyone
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but certain
Queen Suet says:
but wait, i need to know if your head is really clear and you’re who u are..did u take drugs?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
u’d be amaze at how easily i talk to ppl nowadays
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
even strangers
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s the first issue
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now
Queen Suet says:
like now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
oh
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no
Queen Suet says:
ok good
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i don’t need drugs anymore
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
really
Queen Suet says:
so it’s not cause of the drugs
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
good
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
u’re really following my logic here
Queen Suet says:
ok tell me then
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
im glad
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it was just yesterday night that i found out from a friend who reads a lot and meets a lot of ppl that buddha did take drugs before
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i was surprised to hear it
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
apparently it wasn’t well publicized
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
naturally, in our society
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
our society is way diff frm buddha’s time
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
u get me?
Queen Suet says:
yeap
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sad
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
in a waya
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
la
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
*
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but true
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it was amusing as to how i can relate that thought with my finding of this quaint little store downtown here
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s called Greetings
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
a very hippie kinda store
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
very quirky with knick knacks
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
Queen Suet says:
and?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and there i found these little buddha statues
Queen Suet says:
what did u find there
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
none of them had the usual serious or calm expressions we’re used to
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they all were smiling or laughing
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
had “peace” signs on their hands
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
a very chilled buddha, in fact
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and that triggered my thought as to what the hippie culture is all about, again
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ppl who misunderstands the hippie culture will easily associate it to drugs and free sex
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
when it’s truly not
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ask any hippie what their philosophy is, on a serious note
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
a real hippie will tell you that it’s all a matter of living life to the fullest
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
just being young at heart
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s why some ppl live longer than others
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
naturally speaking
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
with as little drug/medication as possible
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
nowadays i don’t really take Zypraxa to sleep anymore
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s my medication from recent events btw
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s a “mood stabilizer”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
helped me to relax my mind and sleep
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i used to take 10mg before my bedtime, this was 3 days before i got discharged frm the hospital
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
2 days before i got discharged
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it got reduced to 5mg
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and that’s the only drug i was prescribed now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i mean
Queen Suet says:
that’s good right
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
before i got out of the hospital
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
very good
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now i still take my prozac out of obligation la
Queen Suet says:
i dont really get what u’re trying to say though
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and it’s only 20mg
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
what im saying is that
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
everything’
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
s interrelated
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but perhaps
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now isn’t really the time
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
for me to truly go on my spiritual path
Queen Suet says:
how is enlightenment like?
Queen Suet says:
so do u know the true meaning of life now?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
what i meant by spiritual path is not really abt being a nun and shit la
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i won’t dare to say i do
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but i have a very good feeling
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
abt all this
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s all i’ll say for now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but one thing for sure
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
is that it’s not drug
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ppl don’t need drug actually.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s not abt finding god either
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ppl created the idea of god to talk about because they need god in their hearts, or security, whichever u please
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
point not being whether god exist or not
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that they just want the truth
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
u follow me?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i sense confusion
Queen Suet says:
yeah thts true
Queen Suet says:
the idea of god
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
this is where history is concerned.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
let me tell you a little more abt my own personal history
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
who knows one day i’ll be written down
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my life story
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
tho it’ll be hard
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i have to be the one to write it, with the help of others, perhaps
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz i still don’t trust ppl
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
in a way
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but
Queen Suet says:
ok do tell me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my family can verify its truth for me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i was raised a free-thinker
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but my parents, i know, are racist/narrow-minded in a way
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they’re traditional at heart when it comes to raising their own kids
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like most parents are
Queen Suet says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
or some
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they wouldn’t let me go to church no matter what
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that it’;s not even funny sometimes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they’re afraid i’ll be converted
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i never been to a chirstmas carol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
up till now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
then
Queen Suet says:
then
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i ventured into buddhism, even tho before 16 yrs old, i easily confused buddhism for chinese religion
Queen Suet says:
buddhism is good
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
what’s with ancestral worship and all that
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
buddhism is good
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
very good way of life in fact
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but alas
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it is human nature for ppl to want others to follow their way of thought
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
hence the concept of organized religion
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and different school of thoughts
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
context is extremely important here
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s why i try to be as politically correct as possible now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i realized that simplicity, though ideal, is not always the way to go.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it is not always the key, in the minds of many
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
simplicity only exists in the heart
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
moving on
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
depression first hit me hard (because i have been depression prone all along. even when i was abt 8…i can direct you to a blog post of mine later, about this, if i remember) when i was 16
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
16, is yet another coming of age
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not 17, tho it is another coming of age…
Queen Suet says:
hmm
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because firstly, 16 is when you first go into your late teenage years
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
secondly, people talk about “sweet sixteen” too much that people get idealistic about it
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
which is a big mistake
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s ok to talk abt ideals, but not good if you get too involved into it
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
them*
Queen Suet says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
good
Queen Suet says:
and what happened after that?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now, what happened was that as a teenager, i’ve always sought to ACTUALIZE romance. i’m a romantic at heart.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
very romantic, in fact
Queen Suet says:
and?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not just about your typical romance, but about life, in general
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i got my first “serious” boyfriend (though I had 2 other before him) and i rushed my first kiss
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and disappointed myself
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and the first thought that hit me when our lips first touch was “what the fuck is going on here?”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i got confused myself and withdrew from him
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he obviously felt hurt and confused by me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and me being me, i didn’t quite know how to react
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i mean, i still liked him a lot, but suddenly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my thoughts all got intertwined and i wanted out
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i inherently knew he wasn’t the guy for me at all
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but that wasn’t the case then
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i just….wanted to relax….and i didn’t know how to
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i started becoming very philosophical about life
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and my mind went into overdrive
Queen Suet says:
yeah u are very very philosophical
Queen Suet says:
too philosophical tht it’s hard to follow u sometimes
Queen Suet says:
but i’ll try
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i cried a lot, i screamed at my parents, i hated my brothers for not leaving me alone
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
even though
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i really want my family to understand what i was going through
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i love them a lot actually
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i apologize
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but i’m getting there
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
don’t worry
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ask me to clarify if anything confuses you
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i really wanted to see a psychiatrist
Queen Suet says:
and u did right
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i knew i didn’t want to see a school counselor, but a Psychologist
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i didn’t, at first
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my family wouldn’t allow me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my dad
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(a very important factor in my upbringing)
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
wouldn’t accept the fact that he cannot understand his daughter at this point
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he’s a very spiritual man in fact
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
at one point in my life (in my later teenage years)
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i worshipped his intellect
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz he is a very smart man
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
very sensitive like me too,
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but alas
Queen Suet says:
but how come he didnt understand u?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
his western astrological (zodiac) sun sign is a Virgo
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
which is an important factor in his birth chart
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
hence, his personality TENDANCIES
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now, if you know enough about this “scientific” aspect of astrology, you’d know that the sign Virgo is the sign of Logic
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
people who are born under this Sun sign tend to be extremely analytical about life
Queen Suet says:
are u virgo?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m not
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m a Pisces by Sun sign
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
interestingly,there is no Virgo in my birth chart at all, meaning, i’m not at all influenced by the sign Virgo
Queen Suet says:
ooh
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i can tell you more about your astrological facts later on
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
anyway
Queen Suet says:
ok im listening
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lemme give you a bit of astrology101 to help clarify things better
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
Pisces and Virgo are polar opposites by astrology
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because, Pisces is ruled by the emotions and Virgo the rationale (of the mind)
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
hence, they are not compatible, but complimentary
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and my dad is my parent.
Queen Suet says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
what do parents do when they try to raise their child?
Queen Suet says:
raise them like themselves?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
exactly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
or rather
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
similarly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no two souls are exactly alike
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
anyway
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
by trying to bring me up according to his way, i suffered, emotionally, under my dad’s rule
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
even though my mum had her say
Queen Suet says:
yeah i get u
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because Virgoans (in referrence to only the sun sign) are what some people would call “emotionally detached” by nature
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no doubt they are sensitive
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but they cannot empathize as much as they would like
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
being sympathetic and being empathic are two entirely different concepts
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because to sympathize is to understand what the other is going through, emotionally
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but to empathize as well, it is to FEEL for the other
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
taking on their emotional burden too
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sharing
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
this is what most Virgoans can’t do, naturally
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they must be nurtured to do so, in fact
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
why?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because they analyze too much
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they don’t “think” too much, though to most people they do
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but, they make the mistake to rationalize emotions
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
emotions are just feelings
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now, tell me, how do you understand feelings/emotions?
Queen Suet says:
erm i dunno..
Queen Suet says:
they are just feelings and cant be rationalized?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you’re getting very good at this
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
see
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the intuition is a very powerful thing
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so is the mind
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but alas
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the mind and the heart, as i tried telling many people before, are mutually exclusive, when it comes to understanding nature
Queen Suet says:
so tht’s why u get depressed?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
exactly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because, i started to realize how different my system works, on the inside
Queen Suet says:
did u go to a psych later?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the mind and the heart will try to communicate to the brain in two extremely different languages
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
although
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the brains will comprehend them as just this: a thought
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m getting there
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so, what happened was that i eventually felt very void on the inside
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i became existentialistic; nihilistic;
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i could honestly say that i didn’t cared if i died
Queen Suet says:
hmm yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
or not
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and many didn’t understand me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my then boyfriend tried to empathize
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he understood i was under great mental duress
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but alas, i started to get bored of him really quickly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i got very bored of many things very quickly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and people misunderstood my intentions as depressive symptoms
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you see, people don’t understand many things themselves actually
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but how they would interpret things easily, is by language
Queen Suet says:
okok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they then catergorize things according to they way they perceive them
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
hence the different cultures and approaches
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
back to my story
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it was when i attempted suicide that my father first realized that i was not joking at all when i said i needed psychiatric help
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
reminder: i was only 16 then
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
after much persistence, he relented
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
at his own will too
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but alas
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it disappointed me to see that he still would not give in to my logic
Queen Suet says:
then
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he sent me to the emergency unit of University Hospital instead
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
“just in case it’s nothing serious,” he said
Queen Suet says:
wahhh
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now you know how i felt
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
Queen Suet says:
then?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
well
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the doctors and nurses were no different from him
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they treated me lightly
Queen Suet says:
so u didnt see psych/
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i did
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
hold on
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the malay GP who saw me in the emergency unit skimmed through my very first 6-page personal analysis of life and said to me:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
“so what is the problem here?”
Queen Suet says:
how did u attempt suicide?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my dear child, that, right now, is irrelevant
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you really ought to learn to have more patience at this point
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i will tell you about that some other time
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
alright?
Queen Suet says:
ahhh im so impatient to know!
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i know!
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
this is quite exciting
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
this is probably why my best guy friend Leon kept telling me to write my own autobiography ever since he met me 3 years ago in Malaysia
Queen Suet says:
hahha ya man
Queen Suet says:
it’s so exciting
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
heh
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but that’s only if you know me personally
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
in fact, everyone leads interesting life
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s only whether they know how to make it exciting or not
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
people often mistake interest for excitement
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because, let’s face it: boring people exist
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
anyway
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
back to my story
Queen Suet says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the GP saw no issue in my story at first
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
she then asked to speak to my father personally
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
after that, i was admitted on the basis of suicidal attempt
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i was supposed to see this female malay psychiatrist
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i felt excited at first
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
“finally”, you know
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and according to her job description, it seemed to me that she was very credible for more information as to treating me, judging by her ph.D standing.
Queen Suet says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but alas
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i never got to see her
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ever.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i saw two other male doctors instead
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the first was a malay
Queen Suet says:
how come didnt see her?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i never found out
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they probably still didn’t take me seriously enough
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the first doctor asked me one morning in a room: “do you know what depression is?”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i said: “something void. you feel a certain emptiness within you. you don’t see the point of anything anymore.” etc
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he just chuckled in response
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
wrote some notes down in his book
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i don’t remember the rest of the interaction in great detail
Queen Suet says:
CHUCKLED??
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but i remember the feeling of being misunderstood
Queen Suet says:
omg they are so mean!
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
no
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my dear
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i used to think so
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i even thought that it’s just a Malaysian thing
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ignorance to the seriousness of mental health
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but what i realized was this:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
nobody will believe a story unless they know it in great detail
Queen Suet says:
hmm then?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that’s why no one should take ANYTHING for granted
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and it takes a lot of energy and time out of the storyteller to tell their story
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the full story, that is
Queen Suet says:
yeah
Queen Suet says:
i get u
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
thank you
Queen Suet says:
so what did u do after tht?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i hung around the ward for the next few days, getting to know other patients and nurses because i’m naturally friendly and interested in stories
Queen Suet says:
then/
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
some friends came to see me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my boyfriend came to
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so did my then best friend
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and my parents
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not my siblings though
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they probably didn’t understand enough
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
none of them did actually
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and i mistreated them, by not acknowledging their confusion
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
anyway
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i saw a second doctor
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
this time, i suspected that he was a graduate student, judging by his youth
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he was a chinese
Queen Suet says:
and/
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he listened to me, asked me to talk about how i felt
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
alas, yet another mistake people often make:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
asking someone JUST about how they feel
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
how, instead of why as well
Queen Suet says:
yeahh
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
there is a reason for everything
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
in the end
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
that is
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sometimes, things just happen
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but, it takes time to understand why they did
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
this is basically what karma essentially is all about
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not just about good and bad
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ethics is only a small component of life
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
universal love is often misunderstood because of this
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
universal love is merely the concept of love in one and manyness
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(i have to talk to a professor about this afterwards, lol. remind me to email him later)
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
anyway
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
after me talking about the matrix (during an earlier period of my void-feeling-ness, i watched the Matrix for the first time and got hooked onto its truthfulness about life in general) of my personal emotional wellness
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the doctor smiled and leaned in
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he said: “do you know that, half the patients here feel exactly the way you do right now?”
Queen Suet says:
wow getting deep
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it is.
Queen Suet says:
then wht happened
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he smirked
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i never forgot the smirk on his face
Queen Suet says:
he smirked? why
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because he took me as lightly as the other doctor did, only in a different, more presumptious manner
Queen Suet says:
u must’ve felt really bad then =(
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes i did
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he’s a fresh graduate student, i suspect. or an intern
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
whichever
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but that doesn’t matter anymore
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
point being that i wasn’t getting the understanding nor help i needed
Queen Suet says:
then?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
at this point, i was getting hopeful that i’ll be seeing the main psychiatrist who was supposed to help me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but alas, nothing happened
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
though, i learned a lot from the rest of the patients.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ive seen some kinds of craziness i know i’ll never become, as long as i can control my own mind
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
there was an old lady who thought she was worshipping jesus when there was nobody around
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
in fact, there was an old lady back in the stress care unit in bloomington hospital here that acted like she did, only that she was very anxious and impatient to go home. very annoying, in fact
Queen Suet says:
wow
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
remember my journal?
Queen Suet says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
of a “schizophrenic”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yeah
Queen Suet says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the stereotype “crazy old lady” exists for a good reason, i suppose
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
anyway
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
jokes aside
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my parents came
Queen Suet says:
then?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
after my explanation to them, my mum said to my dad: “wow, our daughter sounds like an adult now”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my dad merely frowned
Queen Suet says:
hmm then
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
days later (or the next day, i can’t quite remember when), my then best friend revealed to me that my mum bumped into her on her way out
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my best friend said to me: “your mum said you just wanted attention”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
how would you feel if you were in my position?
Queen Suet says:
WTF
Queen Suet says:
wow
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
exactly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
my thought.
Queen Suet says:
tht’s bad
Queen Suet says:
=(
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and as a “misunderstood teenage angsty” teenager, i reacted like a typical rebellious 16-year-old would
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
which was to just withdraw some more into my own world
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
became very narrow-minded in a way
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because i couldn’t think out of the box anymore
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i just wanted to get my thoughts sorted out
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
started becoming more nihilistic from then on
Queen Suet says:
i get why u were like tht
Queen Suet says:
veru understandable
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
asked questions like “what’s the point of having a point”?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but you see, my dead
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
dear*
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
typo
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
look at how much i’ve shared in order for you to understand that?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i only gave you a summary, too
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i didn’t incorporate other relevant factors like what happened between my then boyfriend and i and other friends
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
such is life. people need experience to see what they truly need to learn in order to grow
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but, why me, you see?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
why me, of all people.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i wasn’t asking that question, nor am asking that question, just to be self-absorbed
Queen Suet says:
then
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sure, sometimes, i do
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sometimes i seek attention
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like a normal human would
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but, mainly
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i am driven by curiosity
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like the last buddha was
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i still remember asking my father what was the first word i uttered, or the first thing i said
Queen Suet says:
yeah
Queen Suet says:
i understand tht u werent seeking for attn
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
he told me: “i don’t really remember what your first word was but i remember that you’d point at things and ask ‘what?’ ‘fan’ ‘what?’ ‘table’ ‘what?’ ‘door’ ‘what?’ etc”
Queen Suet says:
haha
Queen Suet says:
curious
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yep
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and cute
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
hahaha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i laughed when i first heard what he said abt that
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
because i didn’t remember
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
people don’t usually remember anything before they are two to four years old
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
anyway
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so there i was, feeling misunderstood, acting misunderstood
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it wasn’t healthy at all
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
eventually, my dad brought a buddhist nun over to help me out
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
the nun visited me with her friend
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
she asked me to talk and i did
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i tried explaining what i understood of my point of view, a nihilistic one, still, and related this to the Matrix’s concept of reality
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
she told me she understood
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
though i had a strong feeling she did, even though she expressed sincerity, tried to explain that she did
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i knew she didn’t
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
why?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i found out why later on
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
not in detail
Queen Suet says:
why
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but her reasoning to my parents
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
some time after this incident at University Hospital, my mum revealed to me that the buddhist nun told her this:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
“ta xi huan zhuan niu jiao jian”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
meaning
Queen Suet says:
zhuan niu?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
she thought i liked to “be pointless about what i’m going on about” or “having no point in a roundabout manner”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s a chinese idiom
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i can see why she thought i’m like that
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but as i mentioned
Queen Suet says:
ohh
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
as i mentioned
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s hard for me to explain this in short details
Queen Suet says:
i get u
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
therefore, people still often mistake my intention as being “long-winded” or “pointless”
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
when in actual
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
everything is interrelated
Queen Suet says:
yeah
Queen Suet says:
hey
Queen Suet says:
i have to sleep now
Queen Suet says:
talk to u tomorrow k?
Queen Suet says:
it’s nice talking to u
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
people who take engineering very seriously would not understand me at all
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sure
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
it’s a good end anyway
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cuz
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i left the ward after 10 days
Queen Suet says:
ya it is =)
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
well
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
though i must mention this before you leave
Queen Suet says:
yea?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
they tried to ask me to participate in group therapy, but i saw no point in the end
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
everyone else’s problem seemed too……trivial to me at that point
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
plus, they were all malaysians.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
Queen Suet says:
hmm
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sorry
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i sound so racist now
Queen Suet says:
u mean in UH?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but again, as i said before, my problem at that point was most important to me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i didn’t want to listen to someone else’s issue at that point
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i had enough to deal with already
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
life after ward wasn’t pleasant as well
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
issues kept popping up
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
family-wise, romance-wise, friendship-wise
Queen Suet says:
haih
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
broke up with my boyfriend
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and best friend
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
though now best friend talking to me again
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
family though
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
misunderstood me a lot
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and vice versa
Queen Suet says:
thts sad =(
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but now all better la
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
tell you more next time k
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m gonna blog about this
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you know what would help?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you blogging about me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i trust you more now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
so, thank you.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
really.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you taught me a lot as well, though you probably don’t realize it just yet.
Queen Suet says:
i dunno wht to blog abt though
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
well
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m planning to copy and paste this entire conversation in my blog, if you don’t mind
Queen Suet says:
wow the whole thing?!
Queen Suet says:
very long right
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you can just express how you feel about me and this issue here
Queen Suet says:
i’ll try and see
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
Queen Suet says:
sleep early!
Queen Suet says:
goodnight
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
well, i used to think long = bad
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
now i learned that, it’s what you cover that matters the most
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
simplicity is not always the key
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
especially when explaining something complex
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
why else are you still talking to me?
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
lol
Queen Suet says:
hey tht sounds like somethg i just got frm my fortune cookie
Queen Suet says:
let me find it
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ok
Queen Suet says:
oh no it’s different. it sayd there is beauty in simplicity
Queen Suet says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
ah yes
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
beauty in simplicity
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
but
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
beauty, alas, is in the eyes of the beholder
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
always is
Queen Suet says:
yeah
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
as much as general consensus would contradict my point
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
there is one universal beauty though
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
do you know what it is?
Queen Suet says:
nope
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
universality
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
in the form of love
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
Queen Suet says:
hmm..deep. but i’ll try to make sense of it
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
basically
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
love for everything in general
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
yin and yang
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
one cannot exist without the other
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
like now
Queen Suet says:
ya i wrote a paper on taoism
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i’m not independant without your understanding of me
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
you helped me understand myself better right now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
which was why i thanked yo
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
u
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
and still do, in fact
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
by the way, don’t worry if people won’t read this
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
people who care enough to find out the truth will always do all it takes to learn
Queen Suet says:
yeah =) u do sound sooo much better than when i first talked to u though
Queen Suet says:
im not as worried now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
cheers
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i know
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i was confused before
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i learn better now
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
always will
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
though, i still doubt i will be doing work for class later.
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
might sleep some more,
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i just got up u c
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
anyway
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
good talking to you
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
sleep well!
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
i think you’ll have an excellent dream later on
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
u can tell me abt it later, if it was that good
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
haha
(D):: Eleanor Rigby :: (B) says:
or if u remember at all
Queen Suet says:
haha i will
Queen Suet says:
nite!

–

And so the yellow submarine swims on.

Whatever that means.