Quick sand
I admit. Power does corrupt. And it doesn’t always involve money.
Arrogance was something I was guilty of. Still am. I think.
I don’t know.
How does one really forgive themselves?
It’s just funny how what I say and what I do seem to be two different things.
Often, in the eyes of many, I practise what I preach. I seem to know what I want and need.
And in the eyes of a few, I am one hell of a confused soul.
All I want is just something good in the end.
For myself.
For others? That depends. On me, again.
Care only for those who matter to you because you can’t please everyone. Care only for yourself for you have only yourself in the end. Care for the world because you end when humanity ends.
Then again there are those who wouldn’t mind to die young. As long as they have no regrets.
Everyone wants to know but nobody actually cares.
I’d be lying if I were to say that I care for things that doesn’t affect me. Immediately or not.
I’d be lying if I were to say that I don’t care for the injustice imposed onto anyone. Or anything.
And again, it all depends. On my mood. On my perception.
I am what I seem to be. I am not what I seem to be.
Which is it? It’s hard to draw the line sometimes. Sometimes easy.
Ultimately, it seems like what matters in the end is what you want to believe. In the present.
What if what you’re comfortable with doing is what is right, and if that doesn’t tally with your pre-conceived notions of what is right, it becomes wrong?
Because of guilt.
What the hell is wisdom about anyway?
To always act on what is right? To know everything? To understand everything? To always be comfortable in one’s skin?
Or is it to really go with the flow and not questioning when there is no need to?
Sometimes, certain things can be taken for granted. Though more prodding may be able to grant you the honey you want, more prodding can also make a bigger hole in the bee nest.
And you may feel the sting in the end. For the sake of the honey you want.
Like how the more you move, the quicker you sink in the sand. The lack of patience may not give enough time for the answers to save you. Self-suffocation.
But who says what is and when there is a need?
Someone pointed out that in the context of yin and yang, if there are answerable questions, there would be unanswerable questions too.
I think that satisfied a lot of my curiosity.
And then I had to ask: What’s the point of having a question if there is no answer? What’s the point of having a point?
Kidding. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help thinking. 
But it’s for the better now, I think.
And thank you again. I think I’m back to where I belong.
It doesn’t feel so lonely anymore.
Friends can be good reminders. Or people for that matter.
man…someone was able to satisfy your curiosity? that person must be pretty amazing!
Posted 1 year, 5 months agothe hardest thing to do is forgive yourself. it’s a battle with your subconscious conscience. even the most amoral of persons has a psychological battle with their inner good. but then again, that’s my opinion.
i love your thoughts!
Posted 1 year, 5 months agoWe think all the time, don’t we?
Posted 1 year, 5 months agoYou’re starting to sound like Macbeth. Everything contradicts everything else. But then again, it’s true…
Posted 1 year, 5 months agoYou echoed my thoughts…. Especially this…
‘Often, in the eyes of many, I practise what I preach. I seem to know what I want and need.
And in the eyes of a few, I am one hell of a confused soul.
All I want is just something good in the end.
Posted 1 year, 5 months agoFor myself.’
the thing with quicksand is the more you struggle the deeper you sink. and the quickest way out is not necessarily the most obvious.
and that applies to the psychological/emotional side of life like nothing else.
Posted 1 year, 5 months agoHAHAHA!
Very VERY good entry! =)
Posted 1 year, 5 months agooops. its for the NB post.
Posted 1 year, 5 months agointeresting view of yin/yang to err… cover up… err… answer the question that some questions are unanswerable
often i guess its experience. sometimes luck. most likely current emotions/state of thoughts at the moment. wait. are we really sinking?
anyways withsomuchadoaboutnothing said (by me), glad that you arent feeling so lonely anymore over there
Posted 1 year, 5 months agoFriends ARE the best reminders. Inspired post Bodicea.
Posted 1 year, 5 months ago“Care only for those who matter to you because you can’t please everyone.”
Amen to that
Posted 1 year, 5 months ago