(9th Oct, 2006) Author’s note: My 3rd edit. The reason why this post has been edited so many times is because for the past times I’ve re-read this, there’s just something that doesn’t show the message I want to give. Words kill the truth. Most of it, if not all.

It’s funny how the past doesn’t stay in the past sometimes. Apparently sometimes, a goodbye is not forever.

Especially when it’s hasty, unexplained, and silent.

An abrupt break creates an impactful jolt to the passengers. The heart stops pumping for a moment. Shock.

The heart remembers how it feels. In due time, if left alone, that feeling is forgotten because the heart is distracted to pump again. To regain lost energy.

Just when you thought that two goodbyes are more than a break with a full stop, the inersia pulls you over. When you least expect it to. It seems like the finishing line hasn’t arrived yet.

Silence can hold the most complicated conversation.

One of the most silent creatures is the cat. Especially when it is alone. It moves so quietly that you are inclined to think that it walks on air. It doesn’t pant, chirp, hop, bark, neigh, caw, screech, roar, gallop, snort, cry, squeal, bellow, or growl. It doesn’t purr too.

Unless provoked.

Once provoked, the cat will watch you. Observe you. In silence. A restrained attack.

Until you feed it its overdue milk.

I question so much that it’s not funny anymore. It’s almost suicidal.

Yet, it feels necessary. Because I don’t know what happened and I have this gnawing urge to know.

Important or not?

I suppose not, in the practical sense. But I feel it important that nobody should end up feeling that a story is incomplete. As if there is an essential chunk of information omitted.

As if the story ended at “To be continued”.

Somebody left me to read in the dark.

Somebody owes me their light bulb.

Ironically, now I don’t know if I really want the light bulb that somebody might give me.

The dark feels quite comfortable now, though unhealthy.

Pisces. Two fishes that swim towards opposite extremes. Shape-shifter. Maybe has conditioned herself to the romanticism of ambiguity. The dream world. Again.

Straightforwardness is underrated. People like to protect themselves with ambiguity.

Miscommunication. Everyone loses out.