When silence hurts «

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When silence hurts

I will regret and feel sorry for myself if I don’t write this down. If I don’t trap the truth in black and white.Because you need to know this.

Your silence is killing me softly.

You think I could move on.

But while you’re still here?

You know me better than that.

I’m not that honest after all. I partially lied. Out of context.

I lied that I can move on. I lied that I can almost hate you, because I’m on the verge of falling for you and you’re doing this to me.

Still doing this to me. Disappearing. When I need you. When you’re actually still here.

Just not with me. Anymore.

I wonder if the truth is, I can’t hate you. Because my intuition tells me that, I’m about to do exactly what you want: To hate you.

Just because you want to protect me? From myself?

Or perhaps, you’re trying to protect yourself from me. Because if you weren’t deeply affected, as much as I am or more, you wouldn’t do this to me at all.

After all I’ve painfully, honestly told you.
I think, we might have fallen. Only that Ego’s telling us to shut up about it.

September’s 3 weeks away. I’m still waiting for you to take me to Genting.

–

Lois: (Anguished) You’ve ever met someone, and it’s almost like, you know, from a totally different world, but you just share such a strong connection that you’re maybe destined to be with each other? Then he just takes off without ever explaining why or even saying goodbye?

Clark: (Stunned)

Lois: Sounds cheesy, I know.

Clark: …Ah, well, maybe, it was hard to say goodbye because he had to go, and he wanted to say goodbye, but maybe it’s too difficult for him.

Lois: (Surprised) Difficult? What’s so difficult about it? Goodbye! It’s easy. What’s so hard about saying goodbye?

–

I didn’t lie about one thing: I can move on when you’re gone. But only if you’d talk to me beforehand. Say goodbye. With every ounce of passion you once showed me.

Even with the simple touch of your hand.

Care for me, for once, like you said you would. Action speaks louder than words.
I don’t want to assume anymore.

Please.

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Comments

1 Artanoma says:

Maybe you need to reach out first. But not just through here. Through tangible and physical means. If it means having to sacrifice a bit of your own Ego to do so, then perhaps it should be done.

Don’t leave it hanging, because it won’t do the both of you any favours.
Posted 1 year, 11 months ago
2 bodicea says:

Artanoma: Three emails. I’ve sent him 3 fucking emails. Including the first one which he first requested me to write, because I can’t seem to say what I feel to him. And he told me that he would reply me. Twice.

Without me asking.

I’ve never prompted him about the first one. Until I wrote him the second one when I felt that he disappeared.

The third one…was a revelation. From my part. From my understanding.

My assumption.

I’ve done my bit of the phone call. The bit of friend consultation. SMS.

What the fuck am I supposed to do to find my answers? Hire a private investigator?

I’m not about to do that.

Thanks for your support. *hugs*

Btw, I’ve edited the convo between Lois and Clark. It should be more accurate now.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
3 bee hoon says:

waiting kills.

*pats solemnly*

sometimes, we just never know.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
4 sabrina says:

It may be easy to say but once you get out of your depression, you have to tell yourself that you are worth much much more than this.
I always believe that “If someone doesn’t know how to appreciate what he’s got, then he shouldn’t have it”.
Be well.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
5 Dreamfall says:

Maybe he wanted to keep you on that ledge.
So you could take a step back instead of falling.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
6 bodicea says:

Everyone: Thank you.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
7 vikneshan says:

hang in there.. things will get better if u want it to.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago