The word goes that a piece of durian smells like perfumed dung. Seems to taste like one. Seems. I can understand why. They haven’t really tried it at all. But the shape, size, looks, and smell of it said much for itself.

But come to think of it, a durian’s darn practical. Its thorns can kill a sumo wrestler by puncturing his skin and letting all his fats leak. Imagine the massive amount of vacuum you’d let out from a bimbo’s head. Weapon of mass destruction, a durian can be.

Durian stands out. It’s intense fragrance hits the nostrils so sharply that it announces its arrival with obscene grandeur. It’s so honest with its essence that it doesn’t bother lying; doesn’t bother covering up. Candour. Unlike the other fruits which only smell pretty on the outside but bite your tongue when you taste them.

However, the durian needs cosmetic surgery to appear in the international scene without being treated like a time bomb. It’s that dangerous.

It’s alright though. More yummy yellow dung for everyone else. Few everyone else.

And those few people who can appreciate that indescribable, incomparable, exquisite, and exotic taste, will never forget it. Ever.

Durian is that special.

I feel like a durian in this orchard of rotten fruits.

I took down Wednesday’s post because I suspect plagiarism. Or at least, potential one.

Will re-post (it’ll be almost an entirely new post anyway) when the competition results come out.

On a different note, I should like to say that I have no fear except one.

Well, even the strongest has a weakpoint.

I should face it in my submission to that competition.

Pray that I win if you want to read about it.

Thought I’d store these here just in case. Might update whenever.

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You Are 71% Indie

You’re a very indie person, and admit it, you look down a little on people who strive to be normal. You’ll indulge in a little mainstream pop culture every now and then. But for you, anything not indie is a guilty pleasure!

How Indie Are You?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It’s easy for you to forgive and forget.You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they’re going to get it.You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you’re a bit full of yourself.Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you’re concerned, that’s a very good thing.For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn’t fall in love with someone you didn’t trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Are 88% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out! Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand. You don’t have a judgemental bone in your body, and you’re very accepting. You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

Your EQ is 167

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you’d have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You’ve got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You’re average. It’s easy to predict how you’ll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities – you’ve either out “Dr. Phil-ed” Dr. Phil… or you’re a dirty liar.

What’s Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

You Are Rum

You’re the life of the party, and a total flirt You are also pretty picky about what you drink Only the finest labels and best mixed cocktails will do Except if you’re dieting – then it’s Diet Coke and Bicardi all the way

What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

You Are 45% Vain

You’re a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don’t think less of those who aren’t as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

“What we know is not much. What we don’t know is enormous.”

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

You Have Low Self Esteem 16% of the Time

Which can be translated to mean, you have high self-esteem and a healthy sense of self worth. You believe in yourself, and you know how to be the real you. You love yourself, imperfections and all.

How is Your Self Esteem?

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you’re apt to keep very unusual habits. Whether you’re a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence – you like to experiment with your lifestyle. Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it. You enjoy staying home, but that doesn’t mean you’re a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

–

(Edited; 29th Dec, 2006)

You are the Hanged Man

Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.

With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of
loss from a situation, rather than gain.

The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.

The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

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Osiris   Two sides to your personality, fiery but fragile, often indecisive. Colors: male: yellow, female: green Compatible Signs: Isis, Thoth Dates: Mar 1 – Mar 10, Nov 27 – Dec 18 Role: God of the afterlife Appearance: A green-skinned man wrapped up like a mummy, wearing the Atef crown and holding a crook and flail Sacred animals: bull What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign? Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock’s Quizzles and Quandaries

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You Are Grape

You are bold and a true individual. You are very different and very okay with that.People know you as a straight shooter. You’re very honest, even when the truth hurts.You are also very grounded and practical. No one is going to sneak anything by you.People enjoy your fresh approach to life. And it’s this honesty that makes you a very innovative person.

What Color Purple Are You?

–

You Are 46% Passionate, 54% Compassionate

You possess an ideal balance of passion and compassion.You definitely can get swept away and lose your head a little.But you’re rarely a fool for love!

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?

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The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way – and it’s made for colorful times.Your life hasn’t turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness!Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

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You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you’re flakier than you actually are.While your head is often in the clouds, you’ll always come back to earth to help someone in need.Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

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You Are An INFJ

The ProtectorYou live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision – no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What’s Your Personality Type?

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Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing – and you know it.You have the confidence to make the first move.And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.Sometimes you’re passionate, sometimes you’re a tease. And you’re always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

–

You Are 73% Grown Up, 27% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature.Although you have your moments of moodiness, you’re usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

–

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need.You can tell when it’s time to let kids off the hook, and when it’s time to lay down the law.While your parenting is modern and hip, it’s not over the top. You know that there’s nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager… or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

~

Your Attitude is Better than 45% of the Population

You have a positive attitude… somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones.

How’s Your Attitude?

Nowadays, my blogs have good reasons to be missing in action.

I have been:

a) busy with assignments.

b) busy with college events.

c) busy trying to compose a winner for a competition.

d) busy figuring my life out.

e) busy figuring myself out.

Yes, my life and myself are two different matters altogether.

If you have been consistently reading my blogs, you’d notice that I never blog about what happens everyday. As I have said before, nobody gives a shit about what happens to anybody unless it’s something they can laugh at, something they can cry for, something they can feel angry about, something they can feel happy for, or something they can go “OMG” about.

Something that provokes.

No boredom, please and kthxbais.

Yeah, the “kthxbai” is rubbing off on me. I think it gets the message across more efficiently than “no, thanks”.

I digress.

–

A few events that happened to me in the recent months:

1. The Closet Monster will be published in Book Project 3.
2. An asshole misled and used me for his emotional pleasure. Excuses were selfishly retarded. He reminded me of the identity crisis dood. I think I missed the disclaimer about his IQ.
3. Viet17 finally came out of the closet.
4. Viet18 said: “You had me at ‘Hello’”.
5. I finally found the security I needed all this while (we noticed each other a year ago and then the story had a long commercial break) and he’s leaving in early September.
6. I found an old acquaintance during my Standard 6 class reunion on Wednesday (yes, almost 7 years of not seeing everybody). Met him through my ex in Form 4. Glad to know that he’s one of the very few who truly sees a glimpse of me. Will blog about this later.
7. Mum listened to me for once. Even about Viet18 and him. And she knew about Dad’s menopause all along.

It’s funny how things just happen to me. Drama seems to be the motto of my life. Craziness is an understatement. Some people accuse me of being a drama queen. Literally, I suppose that I am one. You have to understand that I have no need to exaggerate any part of my life. All I ever did was to elaborate.

That’s how interesting my life seems to be in my blog.

–

You know you love the drama.

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Cocktail Recipe #21: I am generally expressive. I love human interactions. But what you know about me, even until the end of my blogs, is only at most 10% of me.

–

I believe that I make certain things happen in my life. There is a chain reaction to practically everything we see. My reaction causes new actions for me to react to once more. But because I don’t look for actions to happen to me yet they happen anyway, I realize that I am not in control of my life. All I can ever do is to react to them.

This chain reaction is not natural at all.

And this chain reaction is what doesn’t make me a scientist. My rationale is what makes me a non-believer.

I would agree that there is something big out there. After all, there are never just two sides to a story. But I won’t call this “something big” God. I’m starting to really believe in an Ultimate Truth. Einstein’s idea of the cosmic religious feeling. Taoism. Previously, I’m only half-arsed about it, because I only wanted to trust what I already know. The thing is, a truth seems to be absolute once you follow the rules of Logic. Logic is objective. Faith isn’t. But to believe in something that is objective, subjectivity would die anyway.

Logically, death is the end. Logically, change is constant. Logically, love, ego, and security are what you need to kill the human mind.

–

To be continued elsewhere.

Previously, I’ve given an explicit expose on our ever friendly loos…

–

Mini column of enlightenment

Haiku, my fellow readers, is a mode of Japanese poetry a pattern of approximately 5, 7, and 5 morae, phonetic units which only partially correspond to the syllables of languages such as English.

 

In other words, they don’t have to rhyme.

And since that haikus usually contain abstract and profound significance, it should be noted that the following haikus found in this article are meant to be taken lightly, and they are used only for the sake of the 5, 7, 5 pattern.

Haikus are usually read with grandeur.

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More on our worshipping sessions for our sanctuaries…

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Haiku on the toilets we have:

once upon a time

toilets were fine and dandy

long, long time ago

~o~

Haiku on how much toilets are needed:

Lest ye can hold on

Bloody lecture so damn long

Toilet, where art thou?

~o~

Haiku on the ultimate dream toilet:

Shine like shooting star!

Smooth like Bikini Bottom!

God of Toilet, wow.

~o~

Haiku on the toilet’s prowess:

The handle goes down—

Be gone! Human waste of evil

Praise the loo.

~o~

Haiku on the aging of the loo:

an old toilet—

sound of the bowl flushing

with shit still afloat

~o~