I once said that I hated blogging. I still do. In a way. It’s just that feeling of laziness at times. I just want to procrastinate. I don’t know why. Perhaps, it’s my Piscean nature.

    And then I’m forced to blog out of obligation. The attention does get to me after all. I don’t think the right question is “Do you care about others’ opinions of you or not?” I don’t think that there is anyone in this world who doesn’t care for attention. Perhaps we should be asking how much of others opinions of us do we care about instead. Because sometimes, it takes the other to fish out our own flaws that we’re blind to. And when everybody disagrees with you, perhaps you should consider disagreeing with yourself.

    Do you want to change for the better?

    Choice is sometimes not a choice for Change.

    Blogging really isn’t all so great, the critics and I will tell you that. Mainly because you may never know if your spouse or your boss reads your shit. And it’s true actually. I don’t want my parents who may be reading all my cock-and-bull all these while, read something they can actually hold me against with. It’s terrorism, I tell you, when your superiors know your darkest secrets. Hence, I simply don’t get why would some people blog about their daily rants about their everyday lives and then feel bizarre when the subject of rant screw their asses for it. According to The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 19, “Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.”

    Today’s society is a hypocrite.

    I still inflict pain and hypocrisy unto myself. I still don’t know how to conduct my life. I guess it’s a lie when I say that I want to blog for myself, yet I want to write for people. I know I want readers. After all, one of my life goals is to reach out to people. There are so many life issues like love, friendship, society, honesty, etc, that are misconstrued by the media, which I want to enlighten others with my complex personal experiences. It may sound like a cliche, but many people offline have been surprised with what I know today.

    Perhaps my world is still too small. Is it?

    Still, I want to destroy the misconception and stereotype that maturity is solely linked to age.

    What is too old? What is too young? They say the moment you are “not too young and not too old” is during your teenage years. Is it? From what I’ve observed, the word “fuck” used to be the adult’s privilege. Then teenagers thought it’s cool and they use it themselves. Nowadays, you cannot go past a primary school without passing by kids who scream “FUCK” in the most uncool manner simply because it would discriminate them from the “childish” majority.

    Maturity is overrated. It just doesn’t link to age anymore. I wasn’t even 18 before a friend called me Yoda.

    I digress.

    I really don’t like being a hypocrite. I really want to just explode sometimes. There is so much diversity I find in life that I want to share, yet I can’t find myself putting them down in words just like that. And too often have I restrained myself from expressing my romantic soul in my blog, not only because I don’t want my parents to know about it, but also because I don’t like knowing that I may break hearts and cause envy in my admirers. I don’t want to lose a prospect just because he knows that he may not be The One. Sometimes, it’s not easy to accept that human nature is capricious. Acceptance and understanding are two different concepts.

    I’ve learnt a lot in the past few weeks. Perhaps it’s time for application. Now I don’t want to care anymore.