[A lovely night on MSN...Some scout junior of one of my old schools unleashed the perfect weapon to piss me off: Shallowness + Horniness + Stupidity. Apparently, he didn't remember me.]

Bob: hey baby
Me: i have a name
Me: you know
Me: and i think it sounds better than “baby”
Bob: wat s ur name den?>>?
Bob: hottie?
Me: it’s britney
Bob: ok fine
Bob: hey britney^^
Me: hey bob*
Bob: *pushes u un to the couch
Me: * looks at you suggestively
Bob: *starts to move closer… and movin my hands around ur body*
Bob: *starts to kiss and caress ur neck
Me: *casts level 10000 Eroticism upon myself and fails to get turned on*
Bob: *starts to slip my hand under ur shirt and massages ur boobs while licking ur ear*
Me: *schlong gets hardened for some obvious reasons as silicone boobs sag*
Bob: *strips u dwn to nothing
Bob: and starts to lick ur hot and wet pussy
Bob: *jabs my finger into ur wwarm tight pussy and puts it in and out in and out faast and slow slow and fast
Me: you can’t do that, my schlong’s blocking the way
Me: and i’m getting limp. need some ass action
Bob: *turns u around and fucks u tite in the ass
Bob: *rite
Bob: hammering u wid much pleasure as u moan in awe
Me: oh yea man, and i rub my thick and hairy golden schlong on your man titties… oh the erection..
Bob: u are not a man la
Bob: don spoil the fun
Me: im a trans, so wat
Bob: no ur not
Me: haha
Bob: come on la
Bob: lets hav some real sex la
Bob: cyber
Me: my sis dun screw underage kids man
Me: shes no paedophile
Me: ahahaha
Bob: ahah
Bob: i aint under age asp
Me: gayz rock
Bob: dats on a personal type of view
Me: so lemme screw u once mor boy
Me: hahaha
Me: quick man befor my sis gets back
Bob: i wanna screw ur sis
Bob: not u
Bob: back off
Me: oh i can feel ur hot dick just now
Me: rub it against my schlong
Bob: -____-
Bob: back off
Me: cmon lets do sum 69
Me: it’d be fun
Me: and very educational too
Bob: nah its ok
Bob: i m straight
Me: good for gov skool kids lik u
Me: they aint teach u nth yet
Me: bet u can practise with ur PE teacher
Me: hed giv u full marks for “physical fitness” man
Me: ahahahaha
Bob: rite-__-
Me: so howd u like that fuck just now boi
Me: u enjoyed urself so much dat u din even realize dat my artificial boobs sagged and fell
Me: my fucking schlong hardened like a furry chocolate cactus. willy wanker wud b so proud
Me: oh man
Bob: nah
Bob: was juz foolin around
Me: sure u are
Bob: wheres ur sis?
Me: fuckin sumone better at sex than u are
Bob: no way
Bob: lolz
Bob: anyway
Bob: need to go out for a whiel
Bob: c ya
Me: she dun fuck gays
Me: and underage kids
Me: remmeber that aight?
Bob: i aint no gay
Bob: and i aint underage
Me: tata loverboi (K)
Bob: …
* Bob is now Away
Me: u aint 18
Me: datz for sure
Bob: i m legal to hav sex in songapoer
Bob: so c ya
Me: singapore?
Me: cheap SPGs?
Me: or GROs?

[2 hours later, 2nd round...]

Bob: back
* Bob is now Online
Me: hey baby
Bob: who u?
Me: your gay fucker
Bob: …
Bob: anyway
Bob: gtg
Bob: goin out yum cha
Bob: bye
* Bob is now Offline
* If you block this person, he or she will not be able to have online conversations with you or see your online status.
[Cue: Click 'OK']
* You cannot send a message to bobisafucktard@msnfuckstoo.com because he or she is not in your allow list.

[The next day...Yet another lovely night on MSN... Round 3]

Bob: hello
Bob: are u britney?
Me: u r?
Bob: bob*
Me: how many emails have u got
Bob: the old wan
Bob: spoil
* If you block this person, he or she will not be able to have online conversations with you or see your online status.
[Cue: Click 'OK']
* You cannot send a message to bobisafucktard@msnfuckstoo.com because he or she is not in your allow list.

–

This bugger must either:
1. be really desperate
2. be really stupid
3. have confused sexual orientation

May someone bless this innocent mongoloid.

–

* Name has been changed to save the innocent.